Social Networking

I love social networking because it neither involves socializing nor networking.

Complain

Funny how those people who don't have to work for a living, still manage to complain about something.

Belt Clip

Let's have a moment of silence for our brothers who wear their phones on a belt clip.

Baby

Hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. 
It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.

Hand shakes

Whenever I meet a new girl, 
I introduce myself by shaking hands with my left hand. 
I don't want her to meet her competition right away..

Beer

I can't believe the crazy things people do. 
I was sitting in church today and this person next to me lit up a cigarette! 
I almost dropped my beer!

Sharks

Honolulu - it's got everything. 
Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother..!!

That Important Question!!

My girlfriend's father asked me what do I do?
Apparently ''Your daughter'' wasn't the right answer.

Guess the Age!!

When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb!